Christopher Wanker Pants Down. Strike One. New Work '98.

In 1996 Christopher Wanker pictures were sent along with an application to participate in an exhibition in east London called 'NEW WORK '98 UK'.  The pictures consisted of prints of photos taken of the card and paper model shown.

The model had 15 separate card figurines.  14 were to be arranged in order forming a circle facing inside or out pending exhibition context.  The 15th was to be a much larger picture, a re-representation of the finale of the series, the 'cum shot'.

The model depicted me dressing for city business/work.  When fully dressed I become one with the UK mobile phone company mini-maps I had been in front of. In the same picture plane as the map (perpendicular to the photo background of my bedroom on the floor plane behind) I am able to feel at one with my country's map and I am able to pull out my magical map cock, London's cock and become Christopher Wanker. In the next few figurines Christopher Wanker is in the trans-like frenzy of his magical masturbation and the map cock is detached from the UK road map-whole.  He slips back to the floor plane of  his bedroom - but during those ogasmic moments the UK road map is missing it's capital city.

This model was strongly influenced by the stations of the cross and main crucifix present on the walls of most/all Catholic Church's.  I had been a practising Catholic all my life until leaving home at 18.

MYthSELF assumed Christopher Wanker perfect for a role in the NEW WORK exhibition.  Alas the application for a place in the exhibition was unsuccessful.  Strike 1.

In the summer of 1998 after Englands defeat to Argentina in the world cup quarter final I broke my arm.  I stopped making Christopher Wanker pictures because of my cast, wrote a book about witches for my niece and began to get re-interested in military costume and history.  In the Fall of 1998 I met Laura with whom I moved to France and married.

Photographs taken by friends and myTHself at London's Cock 'Coming Out Of My Bedroom' Exhibition, 1996.

On a Sunday afternoon in the winter of 1996 I held the private show 'Coming out of my bedroom' in my bedroom, in Fulham, London.  I presented models and collages depicting 'London's Cock' to invited friends.  The presentation and subsequent discussion of  the map phallus overtly fixed the identity of myTHself Christopher Wanker and the logical conclusion that his cock was London's cock.

How Christopher Wanker came to be. 19/09/2006 & 25/06/2017 myTHself.

He/I is Christopher Wanker. He is at the centre of myTHself.  He was the first part of myTHself to come from Christopher Walker.  

"See me.  In my suit I feel a part of my country.  I feel it between my legs.  I see how it unites me with my country.  My cock is London's cock.  With my cock, London's cock, I began to play with mythself.  With my cock, London's cock, I propagate myTHself.  It's what my cock, London's cock is meant for.

I come from within myTHself, from a driving ambition to be part of you.  I am my ambition seen frustrated and fulfilled in my grotesque and surreal unity with the map of my country.  I am an image aroused by desire to be before you and get into you. Put my cock London's cock into you, seeding myTHself...  Look at the map of my country and see part of myTHself... I mean business - mean I business, 

I am Christopher Wanker and I am here so you will see and consider myTHself.

For years I have remained within myTHself, behind Christopher Walker.  Within myTHself I always had the knowledge that I was, that I could come out.  It sustained myTHself through the banal labours of Christopher Worker painting the walls in people's lives brilliant white with obliterating  emulsion.  I feed the egoism in myTHself that puts myTHself before you and in you.  You have perhaps all, already looked at my cock, London's cock, but only now thanks to me  can you see it!  My cock is London's cock, it's my fantastic tool for cultural propagation, dissemination - it's in you!"  

Hitching North & South

How did I come to see it and how did it become a part of me?


In the week after Easter In 1994 on the M1 motorway south of Nottingham I sat in the back seat of a car whilst the two blokes giving me a ride talked in the front.  I was hitch hiking south having visited my family in the North for Easter. I saw the rear of the truck in front and it said ''Hula-Hoops'' a brand of potato snack I knew and ate.  As we overtook I saw 'Hula -Hoops' was also on the side of the truck. The next truck we passed said nothing, it was blank on the back and on the sides... I began to see blank sided haulage vehicles all around. Trucks with hauliers own details on the sides seemed almost meaningless to most of the public who saw them.  With a quick count I estimated two thirds of the working haulage trucks' existing surface space could communicate with more relevance to see-ers on the crowded British road network.

Over the next few months I spent my time turning this observation into a business plan. I called it "SMAC'm" - Strategic Mobile Advertising Campaign media.  I knew nothing of business and little of advertising but began the project with belief in the idea and self confidence.  I was living in west London surrounded by the affluent business class.

I immersed myself in the creation of the business plan.  To help me visualise the roads and hauliers locations I pasted my bedroom/office with a large scale road atlas of Britain.  It covered the walls and the ceiling wrapping the insides of my room I worked, slept and dreamt in.

His London bedroom/office/laboratory in Fulham, London.

I saw how business needed demand for it's product - with care for little else - and how advertising encouraged and created this demand - with care for little else. I became disillusioned with them both.  My belief in the feasibility of smac'm remained but my belief in its reason to be was undermined. Without money or experience raising the capital for my idea would be difficult. But without my belief it was impossible. In an attempt to persuade my self I thought up 'De-Ad' and fantasized that with profits from SMAC'm I could create a de-Advertising communicative work which would present the other side of the product of business.   ... together they made SMAC'm DeAd, and it was.

The corps of my schizophrenic business fantasy SMAC'm DeAd enveloped me.  Filled with frustration in my thwarted ambition I stared at the map of my country pasted on to the walls of my office... of my bedroom.  The map represented roads constructed over hundreds of years by the desires of the country's people to move them and theirs about.   On the roads were the trucks, and on the trucks would be the messages my vision had enabled.  My fortune would come from the advertising I had foreseen and that advertisements potential to tap into the desires of my country.  And I saw it rising in the form of the main roads north out of London, The A1(M) & the newly finished M11... rising north from the newly completed orbital motorway, the M25. At once it was part of me. My cock was London's cock.  I became united with the map, the form of it, of my country and me.

Over the coming months I excitedly explored my fantastic new anatomy . I became myTHself Christopher Wanker , banker of fantasy, whose main interest would be the interest of others and who in his suit could feel apart of his country.

myTHsel's bedroom/studio/office/gallery Parson's Green, Fulham, London circa 1996

myTHself, Christopher Writer about Christopher Wanker 19.Sept 2006.